Портрет художника в юності

Chapter 3

           Insteadthevitalwavehadcarriedhimonitsbosomoutofhimselfandbackagainwhenitreceded:andnopartofbodyorsoulhadbeenmaimedbutadarkpeacehadbeenestablishedbetweenthem.Thechaosinwhichhisardourextinguisheditselfwasacoldindifferentknowledgeofhimself.Hehadsinnedmortallynotoncebutmanytimesandheknewthat,whilehestoodindangerofeternaldamnationforthefirstsinalone,byeverysucceedingsinhemultipliedhisguiltandhispunishment.Hisdaysandworksandthoughtscouldmakenoatonementforhim,thefountainsofsanctifyinggracehavingceasedtorefreshhissoul.Atmost,byanalmsgiventoabeggarwhoseblessinghefledfrom,hemighthopewearilytowinforhimselfsomemeasureofactualgrace.Devotionhadgonebytheboard.Whatdiditavailtopraywhenheknewthathissoullustedafteritsowndestruction?Acertainpride,acertainawe,withheldhimfromofferingtoGodevenoneprayeratnight,thoughheknewitwasinGod’spowertotakeawayhislifewhilehesleptandhurlhissoulhellwarderehecouldbegformercy.Hisprideinhisownsin,hislovelessaweofGod,toldhimthathisoffencewastoogrievoustobeatonedforinwholeorinpartbyafalsehomagetotheAll-seeingandAll-knowing.

           Wellnow,Ennis,Ideclareyouhaveaheadandsohasmystick!Doyoumeantosaythatyouarenotabletotellmewhatasurdis?

           Theblunderinganswerstirredtheembersofhiscontemptofhisfellows.Towardsothershefeltneithershamenorfear.

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