Большие ожидания

Chapter 56

           IwroteitasferventlyandpatheticallyasIcould;andwhenIhadfinisheditandsentitin,IwroteoutotherpetitionstosuchmeninauthorityasIhopedwerethemostmerciful,anddrewuponetotheCrownitself.ForseveraldaysandnightsafterhewassentencedItooknorestexceptwhenIfellasleepinmychair,butwaswhollyabsorbedintheseappeals.AndafterIhadsentthemin,Icouldnotkeepawayfromtheplaceswheretheywere,butfeltasiftheyweremorehopefulandlessdesperatewhenIwasnearthem.InthisunreasonablerestlessnessandpainofmindIwouldroamthestreetsofanevening,wanderingbythoseofficesandhouseswhereIhadleftthepetitions.Tothepresenthour,thewearywesternstreetsofLondononacold,dustyspringnight,withtheirrangesofstern,shut-upmansions,andtheirlongrowsoflamps,aremelancholytomefromthisassociation.

           ThedailyvisitsIcouldmakehimwereshortenednow,andhewasmorestrictlykept.Seeing,orfancying,thatIwassuspectedofanintentionofcarryingpoisontohim,IaskedtobesearchedbeforeIsatdownathisbedside,andtoldtheofficerwhowasalwaysthere,thatIwaswillingtodoanythingthatwouldassurehimofthesinglenessofmydesigns.Nobodywashardwithhimorwithme.Therewasdutytobedone,anditwasdone,butnotharshly.

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