Большие ожидания

Chapter 39

           WhileIdidso,hestoodatthetabledrinkingrumandeatingbiscuit;andwhenIsawhimthusengaged,Isawmyconvictonthemarshesathismealagain.Italmostseemedtomeasifhemuststoopdownpresently,tofileathisleg.

           WhenIhadgoneintoHerbert’sroom,andhadshutoffanyothercommunicationbetweenitandthestaircasethanthroughtheroominwhichourconversationhadbeenheld,Iaskedhimifhewouldgotobed?Hesaidyes,butaskedmeforsomeofmy"gentleman’slinen"toputoninthemorning.Ibroughtitout,andlaiditreadyforhim,andmybloodagainrancoldwhenheagaintookmebybothhandstogivemegoodnight.

           Igotawayfromhim,withoutknowinghowIdidit,andmendedthefireintheroomwherewehadbeentogether,andsatdownbyit,afraidtogotobed.Foranhourormore,Iremainedtoostunnedtothink;anditwasnotuntilIbegantothink,thatIbeganfullytoknowhowwreckedIwas,andhowtheshipinwhichIhadsailedwasgonetopieces.

           MissHavisham’sintentionstowardsme,allameredream;Estellanotdesignedforme;IonlysufferedinSatisHouseasaconvenience,astingforthegreedyrelations,amodelwithamechanicalhearttopractiseonwhennootherpracticewasathand;thosewerethefirstsmartsIhad.But,sharpestanddeepestpainofallitwasfortheconvict,guiltyofIknewnotwhatcrimes,andliabletobetakenoutofthoseroomswhereIsatthinking,andhangedattheOldBaileydoor,thatIhaddesertedJoe.

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