Трое в лодке не считая собаки

           Itsaid: 

           "Giveusahandhere,can’tyou,youcuckoo;standingtherelikeastuffedmummy,whenyouseewearebothbeingsuffocated,youdummy!" 

           Inevercouldwithstandanappealforhelp,soIwentandundidthem;notbeforeitwastime,either,forHarriswasnearlyblackintheface. 

           Ittookushalfanhour’shardlabour,afterthat,beforeitwasproperlyup,andthenweclearedthedecks,andgotoutsupper. Weputthekettleontoboil,upinthenoseoftheboat,andwentdowntothesternandpretendedtotakenonoticeofit,butsettoworktogettheotherthingsout. 

           Thatistheonlywaytogetakettletoboiluptheriver. Ifitseesthatyouarewaitingforitandareanxious,itwillneverevensing. Youhavetogoawayandbeginyourmeal,asifyouwerenotgoingtohaveanyteaatall. Youmustnotevenlookroundatit. Thenyouwillsoonhearitsputteringaway,madtobemadeintotea. 

           Itisagoodplan,too,ifyouareinagreathurry,totalkveryloudlytoeachotherabouthowyoudon’tneedanytea,andarenotgoingtohaveany. Yougetnearthekettle,sothatitcanoverhearyou,andthenyoushoutout,"Idon’twantanytea;doyou,George?" towhichGeorgeshoutsback,"Oh,no,Idon’tliketea;we’llhavelemonadeinstead—tea’ssoindigestible." Uponwhichthekettleboilsover,andputsthestoveout. 

           Weadoptedthisharmlessbitoftrickery,andtheresultwasthat,bythetimeeverythingelsewasready,theteawaswaiting.