Конец рабства
XI
Itwasthelistofthewinningnumbersfromthelastdrawingofthegreatlotterywhichhadbeentheoneinspiringfactofsomanyyearsofhisexistence.Theconceptionofalifedeprivedofthatperiodicalsheetofpaperhadslippedawayfromhimentirely,asanotherman,accordingtohisnature,wouldnothavebeenabletoconceiveaworldwithoutfreshair,withoutactivity,orwithoutaffection.Agreatpileofflimsysheetshadbeengrowingforyearsinhisdesk,whiletheSofala,drivenbythefaithfulJack,woreoutherboilersintrampingupanddowntheStraits,fromcapetocape,fromrivertoriver,frombaytobay;accumulatingbythathardlaborofanoverworked,starvedshiptheblackenedmassofthesedocuments.Massykeptthemunderlockandkeylikeatreasure.Therewasinthem,asintheexperienceoflife,thefascinationofhope,theexcitementofahalf-penetratedmystery,thelongingofahalf-satisfieddesire.
Fordaystogether,onatrip,hewouldshuthimselfupinhisberthwiththem:thethumpofthetoilingenginespulsatedinhisear;andhewouldwearyhisbrainporingovertherowsofdisconnectedfigures,bewilderingbytheirsenselesssequence,resemblingthehazardsofdestinyitself.Henourishedaconvictionthattheremustbesomelogiclurkingsomewhereintheresultsofchance.Hethoughthehadseenitsveryform.Hisheadswam;hislimbsached;hepuffedathispipemechanically;acontemplativestuporwouldsoothethefretfulnessofhistemper,likethepassivebodilyquietudeprocuredbyadrug,whiletheintellectremainstenselyonthestretch.Nine,nine,aught,four,two.
