Улисс

           OneofthebottlenosedfraternityitwaswentbythenameofJamesWoughtaliasSaphiroaliasSparkandSpiro,putanadinthepaperssayinghe’dgiveapassagetoCanadafortwentybob.What?Doyouseeanygreeninthewhiteofmyeye?Courseitwasabloodybarney.What?Swindledthemall,skivviesandbadhachsfromthecountyMeath,ay,andhisownkidneytoo.J.J.wastellingustherewasanancientHebrewZaretskyorsomethingweepinginthewitnessboxwithhishatonhim,swearingbytheholyMoseshewasstuckfortwoquid.

           —Whotriedthecase?saysJoe.

           —Recorder,saysNed.

           —PooroldsirFrederick,saysAlf,youcancodhimuptothetwoeyes.

           —Heartasbigasalion,saysNed.Tellhimataleofwoeaboutarrearsofrentandasickwifeandasquadofkidsand,faith,he’lldissolveintearsonthebench.

           —Ay,saysAlf.ReubenJwasbloodyluckyhedidn’tclaphiminthedocktheotherdayforsuingpoorlittleGumleythat’smindingstones,forthecorporationtherenearButtbridge.

           Andhestartstakingofftheoldrecorderlettingontocry:

           —Amostscandalousthing!Thispoorhardworkingman!Howmanychildren?Ten,didyousay?

           —Yes,yourworship.Andmywifehasthetyphoid.

           —Andthewifewithtyphoidfever!Scandalous!Leavethecourtimmediately,sir.No,sir,I’llmakenoorderforpayment.Howdareyou,sir,comeupbeforemeandaskmetomakeanorder!Apoorhardworkingindustriousman!Idismissthecase.