Улисс

           SoJoestartstellingthecitizenaboutthefootandmouthdiseaseandthecattletradersandtakingactioninthematterandthecitizensendingthemalltotherightaboutandBloomcomingoutwithhissheepdipforthescabandahoosedrenchforcoughingcalvesandtheguaranteedremedyfortimbertongue.Becausehewasuponetimeinaknacker’syard.Walkingaboutwithhisbookandpencilhere’smyheadandmyheelsarecomingtillJoeCuffegavehimtheorderofthebootforgivingliptoagrazier.MisterKnowall.Teachyourgrandmotherhowtomilkducks.PisserBurkewastellingmeinthehotelthewifeusedtobeinriversoftearssometimeswithMrsO’Dowdcryinghereyesoutwithhereightinchesoffatalloverher.Couldn’tloosenherfartingstringsbutoldcod’seyewaswaltzingaroundhershowingherhowtodoit.What’syourprogrammetoday?Ay.Humanemethods.Becausethepooranimalssufferandexpertssayandthebestknownremedythatdoesn’tcausepaintotheanimalandonthesorespotadministergently.Gob,he’dhaveasofthandunderahen.

           GaGaGara.KlookKlookKlook.BlackLizisourhen.Shelayseggsforus.Whenshelayshereggsheissoglad.Gara.KlookKlookKlook.ThencomesgooduncleLeo.HeputshishandunderblackLizandtakesherfreshegg.GagagagaGara.KlookKlookKlook.

           —Anyhow,saysJoe,FieldandNannettiaregoingovertonighttoLondontoaskaboutitonthefloorofthehouseofcommons.

           —Areyousure,saysBloom,thecouncillorisgoing?Iwantedtoseehim,asithappens.

           —Well,he’sgoingoffbythemailboat,saysJoe,tonight.