Улисс
Chapter 9
Allthedelegateswithoutexceptionexpressedthemselvesinthestrongestpossibleheterogeneoustermsconcerningthenamelessbarbaritywhichtheyhadbeencalledupontowitness.Ananimatedaltercation(inwhichalltookpart)ensuedamongtheF.O.T.E.I.astowhethertheeighthortheninthofMarchwasthecorrectdateofthebirthofIreland’spatronsaint.Inthecourseoftheargumentcannonballs,scimitars,boomerangs,blunderbusses,stinkpots,meatchoppers,umbrellas,catapults,knuckledusters,sandbags,lumpsofpigironwereresortedtoandblowswerefreelyexchanged.Thebabypoliceman,ConstableMacFadden,summonedbyspecialcourierfromBooterstown,quicklyrestoredorderandwithlightningpromptitudeproposedtheseventeenthofthemonthasasolutionequallyhonourableforbothcontendingparties.Thereadywittedninefooter’ssuggestionatonceappealedtoallandwasunanimouslyaccepted.ConstableMacFaddenwasheartilycongratulatedbyalltheF.O.T.E.I.,severalofwhomwerebleedingprofusely.CommendatoreBeninobenonehavingbeenextricatedfromunderneaththepresidentialarmchair,itwasexplainedbyhislegaladviserAvvocatoPagamimithatthevariousarticlessecretedinhisthirtytwopocketshadbeenabstractedbyhimduringtheaffrayfromthepocketsofhisjuniorcolleaguesinthehopeofbringingthemtotheirsenses.Theobjects(whichincludedseveralhundredladies’andgentlemen’sgoldandsilverwatches)werepromptlyrestoredtotheirrightfulownersandgeneralharmonyreignedsupreme.
