Риф, или Там, где разбивается счастье

XXXV

           

           Itdidnot,onthewayhomefromtheirwalk,becomeanyeasiertotellhim;buthersecretdecisiontodosobeforeheleftgaveherakindoffactitiouscalmandlaidamelancholyecstasyuponthehour.Stillskirtingthesubjectthatfannedtheirveryfaceswithitsflame,theyclungpersistentlytoothertopics,anditseemedtoAnnathattheirmindshadneverbeennearertogetherthaninthishourwhentheirheartsweresoseparate.Intheglowofinterchangedloveshehadgrownlessconsciousofthatotherglowofinterchangedthoughtwhichhadonceilluminedhermind.ShehadforgottenhowDarrowhadwidenedherworldandlengthenedoutallherperspectives,andwithapangofdoubledestitutionshesawherselfaloneamonghershrunkenthoughts.

           Forthefirsttime,then,shehadaclearvisionofwhatherlifewouldbewithouthim.Sheimaginedherselftryingtotakeupthedailyround,andallthathadlightenedandanimateditseemedequallylifelessandvain.Shetriedtothinkofherselfaswhollyabsorbedinherdaughter’sdevelopment,likeothermothersshehadseen;butshesupposedthosemothersmusthavehadstoredmemoriesofhappinesstonourishthem.Shehadhadnothing,andallherstarvedyouthstillclaimeditsdue.

           Whenshewentuptodressfordinnershesaidtoherself:“I’llhavemylasteveningwithhim,andthen,beforewesaygoodnight,I’lltellhim.”

           Thispostponementdidnotseemunjustified.Darrowhadshownherhowhedreadedvainwords,howresolvedhewastoavoidallfruitlessdiscussion

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