Спрут: Калифорнийская история
Chapter IV
IsatallnightonastoneoutontheranchsomewhereandIdon’tknowexactlywhathappened,butI’vebeenadifferentmansincethen.Iseethingsalldifferentnow.Why,I’veonlybeguntolivesincethen.Iknowwhatlovemeansnow,andinsteadofbeingashamedofit,I’mproudofit.IfIneverwastoseeyouagainIwouldbegladI’dlivedthroughthatnight,justthesame.Ijustwokeupthatnight.I’dbeenabsolutelyandcompletelyselfishuptothemomentIrealisedIreallylovedyou,andnow,whetheryou’llletmemarryyouornot,Imeantolive—Idon’tknow,inadifferentway.I’veGOTtolivedifferent.I—well—oh,Ican’tmakeyouunderstand,butjustlovingyouhaschangedmylifeallaround.It’smadeiteasiertodothestraight,cleanthing.Iwanttodoit,it’sfundoingit.Remember,onceIsaidIwasproudofbeingahardman,adriver,ofbeinggladthatpeoplehatedmeandwereafraidofme?Well,sinceI’velovedyouI’mashamedofitall.Idon’twanttobehardanymore,andnobodyisgoingtohatemeifIcanhelpit.I’mhappyandIwantotherpeopleso.Iloveyou,”hesuddenlyexclaimed;“Iloveyou,andifyouwillforgiveme,andifyouwillcomedowntosuchabeastasIam,Iwanttobetoyouthebestamancanbetoawoman,Hilma.Doyouunderstand,littlegirl?Iwanttobeyourhusband.”
Hilmalookedatthegoldfishesthroughhertears.
“Haveyougotanythingtosaytome,Hilma?”heasked,afterawhile.
“Idon’tknowwhatyouwantmetosay,”shemurmured.
“Yes,youdo,”heinsisted.