Отель с привидениями
Chapter XIX
Nowsee!I,thoughIamnogenius—Iam,inmylittleway(asIsuppose),anexceptiontoo.Tomysorrow,IhavesomeofthatimaginationwhichissocommonamongtheEnglishandtheGermans—sorareamongtheItalians,theSpaniards,andtherestofthem!Andwhatistheresult?Ithinkithasbecomeadiseaseinme.Iamfilledwithpresentimentswhichmakethiswickedlifeofmineonelongterrortome.Itdoesn’tmatter,justnow,whattheyare.Enoughthattheyabsolutelygovernme—theydrivemeoverlandandseaattheirownhorriblewill;theyareinme,andtorturingme,atthismoment!Whydon’tIresistthem?Ha!butIdoresistthem.Iamtrying(withthehelpofthegoodpunch)toresistthemnow.AtintervalsIcultivatethedifficultvirtueofcommonsense.Sometimes,soundsensemakesahopefulwomanofme.Atonetime,Ihadthehopethatwhatseemedrealitytomewasonlymaddelusion,afterall—IevenaskedthequestionofanEnglishdoctor!Atothertimes,othersensibledoubtsofmyselfbesetme.Neverminddwellingonthemnow—italwaysendsintheoldterrorsandsuperstitionstakingpossessionofmeagain.Inaweek’stime,IshallknowwhetherDestinydoesindeeddecidemyfutureforme,orwhetherIdecideitformyself.Inthelastcase,myresolutionistoabsorbthisself-tormentingfancyofmineintheoccupationthatIhavetoldyouofalready.Doyouunderstandmealittlebetternow?And,ourbusinessbeingsettled,dearMr.Westwick,shallwegetoutofthishotroomintothenicecoolairagain?’
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