Возвращение на родину

III. She Goes Out to Battle against Depression

           SheimaginedhowallthoseBudmouthoneswhoshouldlearnwhathadbecomeofherwouldsay,“Lookatthegirlforwhomnobodywasgoodenough!”ToEustaciathesituationseemedsuchamockeryofherhopesthatdeathappearedtheonlydoorofreliefifthesatireofHeavenshouldgomuchfurther.

           Suddenlyshearousedherselfandexclaimed,“ButI’llshakeitoff.Yes,IWILLshakeitoff!Nooneshallknowmysuffering.I’llbebitterlymerry,andironicallygay,andI’lllaughinderision.AndI’llbeginbygoingtothisdanceonthegreen.”

           Sheascendedtoherbedroomanddressedherselfwithscrupulouscare.Toanonlookerherbeautywouldhavemadeherfeelingsalmostseemreasonable.ThegloomycornerintowhichaccidentasmuchasindiscretionhadbroughtthiswomanmighthaveledevenamoderatepartisantofeelthatshehadcogentreasonsforaskingtheSupremePowerbywhatrightabeingofsuchexquisitefinishhadbeenplacedincircumstancescalculatedtomakeofhercharmsacurseratherthanablessing.

           Itwasfiveintheafternoonwhenshecameoutfromthehousereadyforherwalk.Therewasmaterialenoughinthepicturefortwentynewconquests.Therebellioussadnessthatwasrathertooapparentwhenshesatindoorswithoutabonnetwascloakedandsoftenedbyheroutdoorattire,whichalwayshadasortofnebulousnessaboutit,devoidofharshedgesanywhere;sothatherfacelookedfromitsenvironmentasfromacloud,withnonoticeablelinesofdemarcationbetweenfleshandclothes.

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