Волны

           Wordsandwordsandwords,howtheygallop--howtheylashtheirlongmanesandtails,butforsomefaultinmeIcannotgivemyselftotheirbacks;Icannotflywiththem,scatteringwomenandstringbags.Thereissomeflawinme--somefatalhesitancy,which,ifIpassitover,turnstofoamandfalsity.YetitisincrediblethatIshouldnotbeagreatpoet.WhatdidIwritelastnightifitwasnotgoodpoetry?AmItoofast,toofacile?Idonotknow.Idonotknowmyselfsometimes,orhowtomeasureandnameandcountoutthegrainsthatmakemewhatIam.

           ’Somethingnowleavesme;somethinggoesfrommetomeetthatfigurewhoiscoming,andassuresmethatIknowhimbeforeIseewhoitis.Howcuriouslyoneischangedbytheaddition,evenatadistance,ofafriend.Howusefulanofficeone’sfriendsperformwhentheyrecallus.Yethowpainfultoberecalled,tobemitigated,tohaveone’sselfadulterated,mixedup,becomepartofanother.AsheapproachesIbecomenotmyselfbutNevillemixedwithsomebody--withwhom?--withBernard?Yes,itisBernard,anditistoBernardthatIshallputthequestion,WhoamI?’

           ’Howstrange,’saidBernard,’thewillowlooksseentogether.IwasByron,andthetreewasByron’stree,lachrymose,down-showering,lamenting.Nowthatwelookatthetreetogether,ithasacombinedlook,eachbranchdistinct,andIwilltellyouwhatIfeel,underthecompulsionofyourclarity.

           ’Ifeelyourdisapproval,Ifeelyourforce.Ibecome,withyou,anuntidy,animpulsivehumanbeingwhosebandannahandkerchiefisforeverstainedwiththegreaseofcrumpets.