Волны

           Afterallthesecallingshitherandthither,thesepluckingsandsearchings,Ishallfallalonethroughthisthinsheetintogulfsoffire.Andyouwillnothelpme.Morecruelthantheoldtorturers,youwillletmefall,andwilltearmetopieceswhenIamfallen.Yettherearemomentswhenthewallsofthemindgrowthin;whennothingisunabsorbed,andIcouldfancythatwemightblowsovastabubblethatthesunmightsetandriseinitandwemighttaketheblueofmiddayandtheblackofmidnightandbecastoffandescapefromhereandnow.’

           ’Dropupondrop,’saidBernard,’silencefalls.Itformsontheroofofthemindandfallsintopoolsbeneath.Foreveralone,alone,alone,--hearsilencefallandsweepitsringstothefarthestedges.Gorgedandreplete,solidwithmiddle-agedcontent,I,whomlonelinessdestroys,letsilencefall,dropbydrop.

           ’Butnowsilencefallingpitsmyface,wastesmynoselikeasnowmanstoodoutinayardintherain.AssilencefallsIamdissolvedutterlyandbecomefeaturelessandscarcelytobedistinguishedfromanother.Itdoesnotmatter.Whatmatters?Wehavedinedwell.Thefish,thevealcutlets,thewinehavebluntedthesharptoothofegotism.Anxietyisatrest.Thevainestofus,Louisperhaps,doesnotcarewhatpeoplethink.Neville’storturesareatrest.Letothersprosper--thatiswhathethinks.Susanhearsthebreathingofallherchildrensafeasleep.Sleep,sleep,shemurmurs.Rhodahasrockedhershipstoshore.Whethertheyhavefoundered,whethertheyhaveanchored,shecaresnolonger.