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Murdering the Innocents

           Orthography,etymology,syntax,andprosody,biography,astronomy,geography,andgeneralcosmography,thesciencesofcompoundproportion,algebra,land-surveyingandlevelling,vocalmusic,anddrawingfrommodels,wereallattheendsofhistenchilledfingers.HehadworkedhisstonywayintoHerMajesty’smostHonourablePrivyCouncil’sScheduleB,andhadtakenthebloomoffthehigherbranchesofmathematicsandphysicalscience,French,German,Latin,andGreek.HeknewallaboutalltheWaterShedsofalltheworld(whatevertheyare),andallthehistoriesofallthepeoples,andallthenamesofalltheriversandmountains,andalltheproductions,manners,andcustomsofallthecountries,andalltheirboundariesandbearingsonthetwoandthirtypointsofthecompass.Ah,ratheroverdone,M’Choakumchild.Ifhehadonlylearntalittleless,howinfinitelybetterhemighthavetaughtmuchmore!

           Hewenttoworkinthispreparatorylesson,notunlikeMorgianaintheFortyThieves:lookingintoallthevesselsrangedbeforehim,oneafteranother,toseewhattheycontained.Say,goodM’Choakumchild.Whenfromthyboilingstore,thoushaltfilleachjarbrimfullby-and-by,dostthouthinkthatthouwiltalwayskilloutrighttherobberFancylurkingwithinorsometimesonlymaimhimanddistorthim!

           

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