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Chapter 8
RoyerwouldbelandingatDover,SirWalterwouldbemakingplanswiththefewpeopleinEnglandwhowereinthesecret,andsomewhereinthedarknesstheBlackStonewouldbeworking.Ifeltthesenseofdangerandimpendingcalamity,andIhadthecuriousfeeling,too,thatIalonecouldavertit,alonecouldgrapplewithit.ButIwasoutofthegamenow.Howcoulditbeotherwise?ItwasnotlikelythatCabinetMinistersandAdmiraltyLordsandGeneralswouldadmitmetotheircouncils.
IactuallybegantowishthatIcouldrunupagainstoneofmythreeenemies.Thatwouldleadtodevelopments.IfeltthatIwantedenormouslytohaveavulgarscrapwiththosegentry,whereIcouldhitoutandflattensomething.Iwasrapidlygettingintoaverybadtemper.
Ididn’tfeellikegoingbacktomyflat.Thathadtobefacedsometime,butasIstillhadsufficientmoneyIthoughtIwouldputitofftillnextmorning,andgotoahotelforthenight.
Myirritationlastedthroughdinner,whichIhadatarestaurantinJermynStreet.Iwasnolongerhungry,andletseveralcoursespassuntasted.IdrankthebestpartofabottleofBurgundy,butitdidnothingtocheerme.Anabominablerestlessnesshadtakenpossessionofme.HerewasI,averyordinaryfellow,withnoparticularbrains,andyetIwasconvincedthatsomehowIwasneededtohelpthisbusinessthrough—thatwithoutmeitwouldallgotoblazes.
