Ностромо
Chapter 8
Hewasdoomed,Itellyou!JustasImyselfamdoomed—mostprobably.”
ThisiswhatDr.MonyghamsaidinanswertoNostromo’sremark,whichwasplausibleenoughtoprickhisconscience.Hewasnotacallousman.Butthenecessity,themagnitude,theimportanceofthetaskhehadtakenuponhimselfdwarfedallmerelyhumaneconsiderations.Hehadundertakenitinafanaticalspirit.Hedidnotlikeit.Tolie,todeceive,tocircumventeventhebasestofmankindwasodioustohim.Itwasodioustohimbytraining,instinct,andtradition.Todothesethingsinthecharacterofatraitorwasabhorrenttohisnatureandterribletohisfeelings.Hehadmadethatsacrificeinaspiritofabasement.Hehadsaidtohimselfbitterly,“Iamtheonlyonefitforthatdirtywork.”Andhebelievedthis.Hewasnotsubtle.Hissimplicitywassuchthat,thoughhehadnosortofheroicideaofseekingdeath,therisk,deadlyenough,towhichheexposedhimself,hadasustainingandcomfortingeffect.TothatspiritualstatethefateofHirschpresenteditselfaspartofthegeneralatrocityofthings.Heconsideredthatepisodepractically.Whatdiditmean?WasitasignofsomedangerouschangeinSotillo’sdelusion?Thatthemanshouldhavebeenkilledlikethiswaswhatthedoctorcouldnotunderstand.
“Yes.Butwhyshot?”hemurmuredtohimself.
Nostromokeptverystill.
