Лорд Джим

Chapter 41

           Ihaven’tgotanywings.IamherebecauseIwasafraidonceinmylife.Wanttoknowwhatof?Ofaprison.Thatscaresme,andyoumayknowitifit’sanygoodtoyou.Iwon’taskyouwhatscaredyouintothisinfernalhole,whereyouseemtohavefoundprettypickings.That’syourluckandthisisminetheprivilegetobegforthefavourofbeingshotquickly,orelsekickedouttogofreeandstarveinmyownway.’...

           ‘Hisdebilitatedbodyshookwithanexultationsovehement,soassured,andsomaliciousthatitseemedtohavedrivenoffthedeathwaitingforhiminthathut.Thecorpseofhismadself-loveuprosefromragsanddestitutionasfromthedarkhorrorsofatomb.ItisimpossibletosayhowmuchheliedtoJimthen,howmuchheliedtomenowandtohimselfalways.Vanityplaysluridtrickswithourmemory,andthetruthofeverypassionwantssomepretencetomakeitlive.Standingatthegateoftheotherworldintheguiseofabeggar,hehadslappedthisworld’sface,hehadspatonit,hehadthrownuponitanimmensityofscornandrevoltatthebottomofhismisdeeds.Hehadovercomethemallmen,women,savages,traders,ruffians,missionariesandJim“thatbeefy-facedbeggar.”Ididnotbegrudgehimthistriumphinarticulomortis,thisalmostposthumousillusionofhavingtrampledalltheearthunderhisfeet.

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