Лорд Джим

Chapter 20

           “Ja!ja!Ingeneral,adaptingthewordsofyourgreatpoet:Thatisthequestion....”Hewentonnoddingsympathetically....“Howtobe!Ach!Howtobe.”

           ‘Hestoodupwiththetipsofhisfingersrestingonthedesk.

           ‘“Wewantinsomanydifferentwaystobe,”hebeganagain.“Thismagnificentbutterflyfindsalittleheapofdirtandsitsstillonit;butmanhewillneveronhisheapofmudkeepstill.Hewanttobeso,andagainhewanttobeso....”Hemovedhishandup,thendown....“Hewantstobeasaint,andhewantstobeadevil—andeverytimeheshutshiseyesheseeshimselfasaveryfinefellow—sofineashecanneverbe....Inadream....”

           ‘Heloweredtheglasslid,theautomaticlockclickedsharply,andtakingupthecaseinbothhandsheboreitreligiouslyawaytoitsplace,passingoutofthebrightcircleofthelampintotheringoffainterlight—intoshapelessduskatlast.Ithadanoddeffect—asifthesefewstepshadcarriedhimoutofthisconcreteandperplexedworld.Histallform,asthoughrobbedofitssubstance,hoverednoiselesslyoverinvisiblethingswithstoopingandindefinitemovements;hisvoice,heardinthatremotenesswherehecouldbeglimpsedmysteriouslybusywithimmaterialcares,wasnolongerincisive,seemedtorollvoluminousandgrave—mellowedbydistance.

           ‘“Andbecauseyounotalwayscankeepyoureyesshuttherecomestherealtrouble—theheartpain—theworldpain.

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