Лорд Джим

Chapter 19

           “Wouldyoulike,”saidI,“toleavethispartoftheworldaltogether;tryCaliforniaortheWestCoast?I’llseewhatIcando...Heinterruptedmealittlescornfully.“Whatdifferencewoulditmake?”...Ifeltatonceconvincedthathewasright.Itwouldmakenodifference;itwasnotreliefhewanted;Iseemedtoperceivedimlythatwhathewanted,whathewas,asitwere,waitingfor,wassomethingnoteasytodefinesomethinginthenatureofanopportunity.Ihadgivenhimmanyopportunities,buttheyhadbeenmerelyopportunitiestoearnhisbread.Yetwhatmorecouldanymando?Thepositionstruckmeashopeless,andpoorBrierly’ssayingrecurredtome,“Lethimcreeptwentyfeetundergroundandstaythere.”Betterthat,Ithought,thanthiswaitingabovegroundfortheimpossible.Yetonecouldnotbesureevenofthat.Thereandthen,beforehisboatwasthreeoars’lengthsawayfromthequay,IhadmadeupmymindtogoandconsultSteinintheevening.

           ‘ThisSteinwasawealthyandrespectedmerchant.His“house”(becauseitwasahouse,Stein&Co.,andtherewassomesortofpartnerwho,asSteinsaid,“lookedaftertheMoluccas”)hadalargeinter-islandbusiness,withalotoftradingpostsestablishedinthemostout-of-the-wayplacesforcollectingtheproduce.HiswealthandhisrespectabilitywerenotexactlythereasonswhyIwasanxioustoseekhisadvice.IdesiredtoconfidemydifficultytohimbecausehewasoneofthemosttrustworthymenIhadeverknown.

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