Лорд Джим

Chapter 16

           ‘Andthereisasenseofblessedfinalityinsuchdiscretion,whichiswhatweallmoreorlesssincerelyarereadytoadmit—forwhatelseisitthatmakestheideaofdeathsupportable?End!Finis!thepotentwordthatexorcisesfromthehouseoflifethehauntingshadowoffate.Thisiswhat—notwithstandingthetestimonyofmyeyesandhisownearnestassurances—ImisswhenIlookbackuponJim’ssuccess.Whilethere’slifethereishope,truly;butthereisfeartoo.Idon’tmeantosaythatIregretmyaction,norwillIpretendthatIcan’tsleepo’nightsinconsequence;still,theideaobtrudesitselfthathemadesomuchofhisdisgracewhileitistheguiltalonethatmatters.Hewasnot—ifImaysayso—cleartome.Hewasnotclear.Andthereisasuspicionhewasnotcleartohimselfeither.Therewerehisfinesensibilities,hisfinefeelings,hisfinelongings—asortofsublimated,idealisedselfishness.Hewas—ifyouallowmetosayso—veryfine;veryfine—andveryunfortunate.Alittlecoarsernaturewouldnothavebornethestrain;itwouldhavehadtocometotermswithitself—withasigh,withagrunt,orevenwithaguffaw;astillcoarseronewouldhaveremainedinvulnerablyignorantandcompletelyuninteresting.

           ‘Buthewastoointerestingortoounfortunatetobethrowntothedogs,oreventoChester.

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