Голод
Part II
Nothingseemedgoodenoughtomeforthisunusuallyrareword.AtlengthIsitupinbedagain,graspmyheadinbothhands,andsay,"No!itisjustthis,itisimpossibletoletitsignifyemigrationortobaccofactory.IfitcouldhavemeantanythinglikethatIwouldhavedecideduponitlongsinceandtakentheconsequences."No;inrealitythewordisfittedtosignifysomethingpsychical,afeeling,astate.CouldInotapprehendit?andIreflectprofoundlyinordertofindsomethingpsychical.Thenitseemstomethatsomeoneisinterposing,interruptingmyconfab.Ianswerangrily,"Begpardon!Yourmatchinidiocyisnottobefound;no,sir!Knittingcotton?Ah!gotohell!"Well,reallyIhadtolaugh.MightIaskwhyshouldIbeforcedtoletitsignifyknittingcotton,whenIhadaspecialdisliketoitssignifyingknittingcotton?Ihaddiscoveredthewordmyself,so,forthatmatter,IwasperfectlywithinmyrightinlettingitsignifywhatsoeverIpleased.AsfarasIwasaware,Ihadnotyetexpressedanopinionasto....
Butmybraingotmoreandmoreconfused.AtlastIsprangoutofbedtolookforthewater-tap.Iwasnotthirsty,butmyheadwasinafever,andIfeltaninstinctivelongingforwater.WhenIhaddrunksomeIgotintobedagain,anddeterminedwithallmymighttosettletosleep.Iclosedmyeyesandforcedmyselftokeepquiet.Ilaythusforsomeminuteswithoutmakingamovement,sweatedandfeltmybloodjerkviolentlythroughmyveins.
