Голод

Part III

           Iturnedroundwithoutanyastonishment,withoutatraceoffear;Ionlycollectedthemoneyintomyhand,andpreparedtogiveitback.

           "Begpardon,you’veforgottenyourcandle,"saystheboy.

           "Ah,thanks,"Iansweredquietly."Thanks,thanks";andIstrolledon,downthestreet,bearingitinmyhand.

           Myfirstsensiblethoughtreferredtothemoney.Iwentovertoalamp-post,countedit,weigheditinmyhand,andsmiled.So,inspiteofall,Iwashelped—extraordinarily,grandly,incrediblyhelped—helpedforalong,longtime;andIthrustmyhandwiththemoneyintomypocket,andwalkedon.

           Outsideaneating-houseinGrandStreetIstopped,andturnedoverinmymind,calmlyandquietly,ifIshouldventuresosoontotakealittlerefreshment.Icouldheartherattleofknivesandplatesinside,andthesoundofmeatbeingpounded.Thetemptationwastoostrongforme—Ientered.

           "Ahelpingofbeef,"Isay.

           "Onebeef!"callsthewaitressdownthroughthedoortothelift.

           Isatdownbymyselfatalittletablenexttothedoor,andpreparedtowait.ItwassomewhatdarkwhereIwassitting,andIfelttolerablywellconcealed,andsetmyselftohaveaseriousthink.Everynowandthenthewaitressglancedoveratmeinquiringly.Myfirstdownrightdishonestywasaccomplished—myfirsttheft.Comparedtothis,allmyearlierescapadeswereasnothing—myfirstgreatfall....Wellandgood!Therewasnohelpforit.

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