Голод

Part III

           Thispoorthinfingerlookedsoutterlypitiable.GodinHeaven!whatapassithadcometonowwithme!Thegloomgrewcloser.Itwas,maybe,notimpossiblethatImightworkupmyfinalethroughthecourseoftheevening,ifIonlyhadacandle.Myheadwasclearoncemore.Thoughtscameandwentasusual,andIdidnotsufferparticularly;Ididnotevenfeelhungersobadlyassomehourspreviously.Icouldholdoutwelltillthenextday.PerhapsImightbeabletogetacandleoncredit,ifIappliedtotheprovisionshopandexplainedmysituationIwassowellknowninthere;inthegoodolddays,whenIhadthemeanstodoit,Iusedtobuymanyaloafthere.TherewasnodoubtIcouldraiseacandleonthestrengthofmyhonestname;andforthefirsttimeforagesItooktobrushingmyclothesalittle,gotridaswellasthedarknessallowedmeoftheloosehairsonmycollar,andfeltmywaydownthestairs.

           WhenIgotoutsideinthestreetitoccurredtomethatImightperhapsratheraskforaloaf.Igrewirresolute,andstoppedtoconsider."Onnoaccount,"Irepliedtomyselfatlast;Iwasunfortunatelynotinaconditiontobearfood.Itwouldonlybearepetitionofthesameoldstoryvisions,andpresentiments,andmadnotions.Myarticlewouldnevergetfinished,anditwasaquestionofgoingtothe"Commandor"beforehehadtimetoforgetme.Onnoaccountwhatever!andIdecideduponthecandle.WiththatIenteredtheshop.

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