Эпоха невинности

Chapter 20

           Hissituation,infact,seemed,materiallyspeaking,nomorebrilliantthanNedWinsett’s;buthehadlivedinaworldinwhich,ashesaid,noonewholovedideasneedhungermentally.AsitwaspreciselyofthatlovethatpoorWinsettwasstarvingtodeath,Archerlookedwithasortofvicariousenvyatthiseagerimpecuniousyoungmanwhohadfaredsorichlyinhispoverty."Yousee,Monsieur,it’swortheverything,isn’tit,tokeepone’sintellectualliberty,nottoenslaveone’spowersofappreciation,one’scriticalindependence?ItwasbecauseofthatthatIabandonedjournalism,andtooktosomuchdullerwork:tutoringandprivatesecretaryship.Thereisagooddealofdrudgery,ofcourse;butonepreservesone’smoralfreedom,whatwecallinFrenchone’squantasoi.Andwhenonehearsgoodtalkonecanjoininitwithoutcompromisinganyopinionsbutone’sown;oronecanlisten,andansweritinwardly.Ah,goodconversationthere’snothinglikeit,isthere?Theairofideasistheonlyairworthbreathing.AndsoIhaveneverregrettedgivingupeitherdiplomacyorjournalismtwodifferentformsofthesameself-abdication."HefixedhisvivideyesonArcherashelitanothercigarette."Voyez-vous,Monsieur,tobeabletolooklifeintheface:that’sworthlivinginagarretfor,isn’tit?But,afterall,onemustearnenoughtopayforthegarret;andIconfessthattogrowoldasaprivatetutorora’private’anythingisalmostaschillingtotheimaginationasasecondsecretaryshipatBucharest.SometimesIfeelImustmakeaplunge:animmenseplunge.

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