Сердце тьмы
Chapter 3
Theirbearing,whichwassimplythebearingofcommonplaceindividualsgoingabouttheirbusinessintheassuranceofperfectsafety,wasoffensivetomeliketheoutrageousflauntingsoffollyinthefaceofadangeritisunabletocomprehend.Ihadnoparticulardesiretoenlightenthem,butIhadsomedifficultyinrestrainingmyselffromlaughingintheirfacessofullofstupidimportance.IdarewayIwasnotverywellatthattime.Itotteredaboutthestreets—therewerevariousaffairstosettle—grinningbitterlyatperfectlyrespectablepersons.Iadmitmybehaviourwasinexcusable,butthenmytemperaturewasseldomnormalinthesedays.Mydearaunt’sendeavoursto‘nurseupmystrength’seemedaltogetherbesidethemark.Itwasnotmystrengththatwantednursing,itwasmyimaginationthatwantedsoothing.IkeptthebundleofpapersgivenmebyKurtz,notknowingexactlywhattodowithit.Hismotherhaddiedlately,watchedover,asIwastold,byhisIntended.Aclean-shavedman,withanofficialmannerandwearinggold-rimmedspectacles,calledonmeonedayandmadeinquiries,atfirstcircuitous,afterwardssuavelypressing,aboutwhathewaspleasedtodenominatecertain‘documents.’Iwasnotsurprised,becauseIhadhadtworowswiththemanageronthesubjectoutthere.Ihadrefusedtogiveupthesmallestscrapoutofthatpackage,andItookthesameattitudewiththespectacledman.Hebecamedarklymenacingatlast,andwithmuchheatarguedthattheCompanyhadtherighttoeverybitofinformationaboutits‘territories.’
