Сердце тьмы
Chapter 3
ButIhadnotmuchtimetogivehim,becauseIwashelpingtheengine-drivertotaketopiecestheleakycylinders,tostraightenabentconnecting-rod,andinothersuchmatters.Ilivedinaninfernalmessofrust,filings,nuts,bolts,spanners,hammers,ratchet-drills—thingsIabominate,becauseIdon’tgetonwiththem.Itendedthelittleforgewefortunatelyhadaboard;Itoiledwearilyinawretchedscrap-heap—unlessIhadtheshakestoobadtostand.
"OneeveningcominginwithacandleIwasstartledtohearhimsayalittletremulously,‘Iamlyinghereinthedarkwaitingfordeath.’Thelightwaswithinafootofhiseyes.Iforcedmyselftomurmur,‘Oh,nonsense!’andstoodoverhimasiftransfixed.
"AnythingapproachingthechangethatcameoverhisfeaturesIhaveneverseenbefore,andhopenevertoseeagain.Oh,Iwasn’ttouched.Iwasfascinated.Itwasasthoughaveilhadbeenrent.Isawonthativoryfacetheexpressionofsombrepride,ofruthlesspower,ofcraventerror—ofanintenseandhopelessdespair.Didhelivehislifeagainineverydetailofdesire,temptation,andsurrenderduringthatsuprememomentofcompleteknowledge?Hecriedinawhisperatsomeimage,atsomevision—hecriedouttwice,acrythatwasnomorethanabreath:
"‘Thehorror!Thehorror!’
"Iblewthecandleoutandleftthecabin.Thepilgrimsweredininginthemess-room,andItookmyplaceoppositethemanager,wholiftedhiseyestogivemeaquestioningglance,whichIsuccessfullyignored.
