Скорбь сатаны

Chapter 41

           AndastheystareduponmeIbeheldanotherspectralthing—theimageofMyself!—apoorfrailcreature,pitiful,ignorant,andundiscerning—limitedinbothcapacityandintelligence,yetfullofstrangeegotismandstillstrangerarrogance;everydetailofmylifewassuddenlypresentedtomeasinamagicmirror,andIreadmyownchronicleofpaltryintellectualpride,vulgarambitionandvulgarerostentation—Irealisedwithshamemymiserablevices,mypunyscornofGod,myeffronteriesandblasphemies;andinthesuddenstrongrepulsionandrepudiationofmyownworthlessexistence,beingandcharacter,Ifoundbothvoiceandspeech.

           "Godonly!"Icriedfervently—"AnnihilationatHishands,ratherthanlifewithoutHim!Godonly!Ihavechosen!"

           Mywordsvibratedpassionatelyonmyownears,...and...evenastheywerespoken,theairgrewmistywithasnowyopalescentradiance,...thesableandcrimsonwingsupliftedinsuchmultitudinousarrayaroundme,palpitatedwithathousandchangefulhues,...andoverthefaceofmydarkFoealightcelestialfelllikethesmileofdawn!AwedandafraidIgazedupward,...andthereIsawanewandyetmorewondrousglory,...

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