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Chapter 37

           Itgavethepennypressanopportunityofmoralizingonthedangersthatlurkedinsleepingdraughtsgenerally—andTom,Dick,andHarryallwroteletterstotheirfavoriteperiodicals(signingtheirnamesinfull)givingtheiropinionsastothenatureofsleepingdraughts,sothatforaweekatleasttheordinarydullnessofthenewspaperswasquiteenlivenedbyungrammaticalgratis‘copy.’Theconventionalitiesoflaw,decencyandorderwerethroughoutscrupulouslyobservedandcompliedwith—everybodywaspaid(whichwasthechiefthing),andeverybodywas,Ibelieve,satisfiedwithwhattheymanagedtomakeoutofthedeath-payment.Thefuneralgavejoytothesoulsofallundertakers—itwassoexpensiveandimpressive.Theflorist’stradegainedsomethingofanimpetusbytheinnumerableordersreceivedforwreathsandcrossesmadeofthecostliestflowers.Whenthecoffinwascarriedtothegrave,itcouldnotbeseenfortheloadofblossomsthatcoveredit.Andamidallthecardsand‘lovingtokens’and‘farewelldearests’and‘not-lost-but-gone-befores’—thatticketedthewhitemassesoflilies,gardeniasandroseswhichweresupposedtosymbolizetheinnocenceandsweetnessofthepoisonedcorpsetheyweresenttoadorn,therewasnotonehonestregret—notoneunfeignedexpressionoftruesorrow.LordEltonmadeasufficientlystrikingfigureofdignifiedparentalwoe,butonthewholeIthinkhewasnotsorryforhisdaughter’sdeath,sincetheonlyopposingobstacletohismarriagewithDianaChesneywasnowremoved.

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