Скорбь сатаны

Chapter 36

           Faintgaspsandweakshudderingsaffectitstill—andI,outsideitandnolongerofit,propelitsperishinghandtowritethesefinalwords—Ilive!Tomydespairandhorror—tomyremorseandagony,Ilive!—ohtheunspeakablemiseryofthisnewlife!Andworstofall—GodwhomIdoubted,GodwhomIwastaughttodeny,thiswronged,blasphemed,andoutragedGodEXISTS!AndIcouldhavefoundHimhadIchosen—thisknowledgeisforceduponmeasIamtornfromhence—itisshoutedatmebyathousandwailingvoices!...toolate!—toolate!—thescarletwingsbeatmedownward—thesestrangehalf-shapelessformscloseroundanddrivemeonward...toafurtherdarkness,...amidwindandfire!

           ·····Serveme,deadhand,oncemoreereIdepart,...mytorturedspiritmustseizeandcompelyoutowritedownthisthingunnameable,thatearthlyeyesmayread,andearthlysoulstaketimelywarning!...IknowatlastWHOMIhaveloved!—whomIhavechosen,whomIhaveworshipped!...OhGod,havemercy!...IknowWHOclaimsmyworshipnow,anddragsmeintoyonderrollingworldofflame!...hisnameis"

           Herethemanuscriptended—incompleteandbrokenoffabruptly—andtherewasablotonthelastsentenceasthoughthepenhadbeenviolentlywrenchedfromthedyingfingersandhastilyflungdown.

           Theclockinthewestroomagainchimedthehour.Irosestifflyfrommychair,trembling—myself-possessionwasgivingway,andIbegantofeelatlastunnerved.

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