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Chapter 35

           Shehadherdoctorsandnurses—Ihadmygovernessstillwithme;andmymother’ssister,AuntCharlotte,cametokeephouseforus—soIbegantoanalysesocietyformyself,withoutgivinganyexpressionofmyopinionsonwhatIobserved.Iwasnotyet‘out,’butIwenteverywherewheregirlsofmyagewereinvited,andperceivedthingswithoutshowingthatIhadanyfacultyofperception.Icultivatedapassionlessandcoldexterior—alistless,uninterestedandfrigiddemeanor—forIdiscoveredthatthiswasacceptedbymanypeopleasdullnessorstupidity,andthatbyassumingsuchacharacter,certainotherwisecraftypersonswouldtalkmorereadilybeforeme,andbetraythemselvesandtheirvicesunawares.Thusmy‘socialeducation’beganingrimearnest;—womenoftitleandrenownwouldaskmetotheir‘quietteas,’becauseIwaswhattheywerepleasedtocalla‘harmlessgirl—’‘ratherpretty,butdull,’—andallowmetoassisttheminentertainingtheloverswhocalleduponthemwhiletheirhusbandswereout.Irememberthatononeoccasion,agreatladyfamousfortwothings,herdiamondsandherintimacywiththeQueen,kissedher‘cavaliereservente,’anotedsportingearl,withconsiderableabandoninmypresence.Hemutteredsomethingaboutme—Iheardit;—buthisamorousmistressmerelyansweredinawhisper—"Oh,it’sonlySibylElton—sheunderstandsnothing.

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