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Chapter 28

           Shewasalwayscharmingandbrightofcourse—indeedtheonlytimesinwhichIwasabletopartiallyforgetmyselfandtheabsurdlyincreasingimportanceofmypersonalityinmyownesteem,werewhenshe,withhersweetvoiceandanimatedmanner,broughtherwideknowledgeofbooks,men,andthings,tobearontheconversation,thusraisingittoahigherlevelthanwaseverreachedbymywifeorme.YetInowandthennoticedacertainvagueconstraintabouther—andherfrankeyeshadfrequentlyapainedandquestioninglookoftroublewhentheyrestedforanylengthoftimeontheenchantingbeautyofSibyl’sfaceandform.I,however,paidlittleheedtothesetriflingmatters,mywholecarebeingtolosemyselfmoreandmoreutterlyintheenjoymentofpurelyphysicaleaseandcomfort,withouttroublingmyselfastowhatsuchself-absorptionmightleadinthefuture.Tobecompletelywithoutaconscience,withoutaheartandwithoutsentimentwas,Iperceived,thebestwaytokeepone’sappetite,andpreserveone’shealth;—togoaboutworryingoverthetroublesofotherpeople,orputone’sselfouttodoanygoodintheworld,wouldinvolvesuchanexpenditureoftimeandtroubleasmustinevitablyspoilone’sdigestion—andIsawthatnomillionaireorevenmoderatelyrichmancarestoruntheriskofinjuringhisdigestionforthesakeofperformingakindnesstoapoorerfellow-creature.

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