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Chapter 18

           Onemustconsiderinallworktwothings;first,theobjectforwhichitisundertaken,andsecondlythewayinwhichitisperformed.Allworkshouldhaveahighandunselfishintentwithoutthis,itperishesandisnotconsideredworkatallnotatleastbytheeternaljudgesinvisible.Ifitiswork,trulyandnoblydoneineverysenseoftheword,itcarrieswithititsownreward,andthelaurelsdescendfromheavenshapedreadyforwearingnoearthlypowercanbestowthem.IcannotgiveyouthatfamebutIhavesecuredyouaveryfairimitationofit."

           Iwasobligedtoacquiesce,thoughmoreorlessmoroselywhereatIsawthathewassomewhatamused.UnwillingtoincurhiscontemptIsaidnomoreconcerningthesubjectthatwasthenearesttomyheart,andworeoutmanysleeplesshoursatnightintryingtowriteanewbooksomethingnovelanddaring,suchasshouldforcethepublictocreditmewithalittleloftierstatusthanthatobtainedbythepossessionofahugebankingaccount.ButthecreativefacultyseemeddeadinmeIwascrushedbyasenseofimpotenceandfailure;vagueideaswereinmybrainthatwouldnotlendthemselvestoexpressioninwordsandsuchadiseasedloveofhypercriticismcontrolledme,thatafteramiserablynervousanalysisofeverypageIwrote,Itoreitupassoonasitwaswritten,thusreducingmyselftoastateofmindthatwasalmostunbearable.

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