Портрет художника в юности

           Unwell?Sitsatthefireperhapswithmamma’sshawlonhershoulders.Butnotpeevish.Anicebowlofgruel?Won’tyounow?

           MARCH24.Beganwithadiscussionwithmymother.Subject:B.V.M.Handicappedbymysexandyouth.ToescapehelduprelationsbetweenJesusandPapaagainstthose-betweenMaryandherson.Saidreligionwasnotalying-inhospital.Motherindulgent.SaidIhaveaqueermindandhavereadtoomuch.Nottrue.Havereadlittleandunderstoodless.ThenshesaidIwouldcomebacktofaithbecauseIhadarestlessmind.Thismeanstoleavechurchbybackdoorofsinandre-enterthroughtheskylightofrepentance.Cannotrepent.Toldhersoandaskedforsixpence.Gotthreepence.

           Thenwenttocollege.Otherwranglewithlittleroundheadrogue’seyeGhezzi.ThistimeaboutBrunotheNolan.BeganinItalianandendedinpidginEnglish.HesaidBrunowasaterribleheretic.Isaidhewasterriblyburned.Heagreedtothiswithsomesorrow.ThengavemerecipeforwhathecallsRISOTTOALLABERGAMASCA.WhenhepronouncesasoftOheprotrudeshisfullcarnallipsasifhekissedthevowel.Hashe?Andcouldherepent?Yes,hecould:andcrytworoundrogue’stears,onefromeacheye.

           CrossingStephen’s,thatis,mygreen,rememberedthathiscountrymenandnotminehadinventedwhatCranlytheothernightcalledourreligion.Aquartetofthem,soldiersoftheninety-seventhinfantryregiment,satatthefootofthecrossandtossedupdicefortheovercoatofthecrucified.