Портрет художника в юности

Chapter 5

           

           Addressingitasitlay,hesaid:

           Departfromme,yecursed,intoeverlastingfire!TakingStephen’sarms,hewentonagainandsaid:

           DoyounotfearthatthosewordsmaybespokentoyouonthedayofJudgement?

           Whatisofferedmeontheotherhand?Stephenasked.Aneternityofblissinthecompanyofthedeanofstudies?

           Remember,Cranlysaid,thathewouldbeglorified.

           Ay,Stephensaidsomewhatbitterly,bright,agile,impassibleand,aboveall,subtle.

           Itisacuriousthing,doyouknow,Cranlysaiddispassionately,howyourmindissupersaturatedwiththereligioninwhichyousayyoudisbelieve.Didyoubelieveinitwhenyouwereatschool?Ibetyoudid.

           Idid,Stephenanswered.

           Andwereyouhappierthen?Cranlyaskedsoftly,happierthanyouarenow,forinstance?

           Oftenhappy,Stephensaid,andoftenunhappy.Iwassomeoneelsethen.

           Howsomeoneelse?Whatdoyoumeanbythatstatement?

           Imean,saidStephen,thatIwasnotmyselfasIamnow,asIhadtobecome.

           Notasyouarenow,notasyouhadtobecome,Cranlyrepeated.Letmeaskyouaquestion.Doyouloveyourmother?

           Stephenshookhisheadslowly.

           Idon’tknowwhatyourwordsmean,hesaidsimply.

           Haveyouneverlovedanyone?Cranlyasked.

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