Портрет художника в юности

           Butyoumustbequitesure,Stephen,thatyouhaveavocationbecauseitwouldbeterribleifyoufoundafterwardsthatyouhadnone.Onceapriestalwaysapriest,remember.YourcatechismtellsyouthatthesacramentofHolyOrdersisoneofthosewhichcanbereceivedonlyoncebecauseitimprintsonthesoulanindeliblespiritualmarkwhichcanneverbeeffaced.Itisbeforeyoumustweighwell,notafter.Itisasolemnquestion,Stephen,becauseonitmaydependthesalvationofyoureternalsoul.ButwewillpraytoGodtogether.

           Heheldopentheheavyhalldoorandgavehishandasifalreadytoacompanioninthespirituallife.Stephenpassedoutontothewideplatformabovethestepsandwasconsciousofthecaressofmildeveningair.TowardsFindlater’schurchaquartetofyoungmenwerestridingalongwithlinkedarms,swayingtheirheadsandsteppingtotheagilemelodyoftheirleader’sconcertina.Themusicpassedinaninstant,asthefirstbarsofsuddenmusicalwaysdid,overthefantasticfabricsofhismind,dissolvingthempainlesslyandnoiselesslyasasuddenwavedissolvesthesand-builtturretsofchildren.Smilingatthetrivialairheraisedhiseyestothepriest’sfaceand,seeinginitamirthlessreflectionofthesunkenday,detachedhishandslowlywhichhadacquiescedfaintlyinthecompanionship.

           Ashedescendedthestepstheimpressionwhicheffacedhistroubledself-communionwasthatofamirthlessmaskreflectingasunkendayfromthethresholdofthecollege.