Портрет художника в юности
Chapter 4
Meekandabasedbythisconsciousnessoftheoneeternalomnipresentperfectrealityhissoultookupagainherburdenofpieties,massesandprayersandsacramentsandmortifications,andonlythenforthefirsttimesincehehadbroodedonthegreatmysteryoflovedidhefeelwithinhimawarmmovementlikethatofsomenewlybornlifeorvirtueofthesoulitself.Theattitudeofraptureinsacredart,theraisedandpartedhands,thepartedlipsandeyesasofoneabouttoswoon,becameforhimanimageofthesoulinprayer,humiliatedandfaintbeforeherCreator.
Buthehadbeenforewarnedofthedangersofspiritualexaltationanddidnotallowhimselftodesistfromeventheleastorlowliestdevotion,strivingalsobyconstantmortificationtoundothesinfulpastratherthantoachieveasaintlinessfraughtwithperil.Eachofhissenseswasbroughtunderarigorousdiscipline.Inordertomortifythesenseofsighthemadeithisruletowalkinthestreetwithdowncasteyes,glancingneithertorightnorleftandneverbehindhim.Hiseyesshunnedeveryencounterwiththeeyesofwomen.Fromtimetotimealsohebalkedthembyasuddeneffortofthewill,asbyliftingthemsuddenlyinthemiddleofanunfinishedsentenceandclosingthebook.
