Портрет художника в юности
Chapter 3
—Weknewperfectlywellofcoursethatthoughitwasboundtocometothelighthewouldfindconsiderabledifficultyinendeavouringtotrytoinducehimselftotrytoendeavourtoascertainthespiritualplenipotentiaryandsoweknewofcourseperfectlywell—
Murmuringfaceswaitedandwatched;murmurousvoicesfilledthedarkshellofthecave.Hefearedintenselyinspiritandinfleshbut,raisinghisheadbravely,hestrodeintotheroomfirmly.Adoorway,aroom,thesameroom,samewindow.Hetoldhimselfcalmlythatthosewordshadabsolutelynosensewhichhadseemedtorisemurmurouslyfromthedark.Hetoldhimselfthatitwassimplyhisroomwiththedooropen.
Heclosedthedoorand,walkingswiftlytothebed,kneltbesideitandcoveredhisfacewithhishands.Hishandswerecoldanddampandhislimbsachedwithchill.Bodilyunrestandchillandwearinessbesethim,routinghisthoughts.Whywashekneelingtherelikeachildsayinghiseveningprayers?Tobealonewithhissoul,toexaminehisconscience,tomeethissinsfacetoface,torecalltheirtimesandmannersandcircumstances,toweepoverthem.Hecouldnotweep.Hecouldnotsummonthemtohismemory.Hefeltonlyanacheofsoulandbody,hiswholebeing,memory,will,understanding,flesh,benumbedandweary.